Bureau of Programming

Glassdoor Is a Cesspool

While working at Glassdoor, my boss was CEO Robert Hohman. He has a mean streak and repeatedly assaulted me during my short tenure as his assistant. If I made a typo in a report or forgot to CC him in an email, he’d sneak up on me and strangle me with Ethernet cables or beat me with a baseball bat.

The company itself is corrupt full-tilt. Helen Girick, the head of the Content & Community team, directed me to side-step the official channels to sell companies the “opportunity” to remove fake reviews. She also compelled me to perform fellatio on her elderly father or risk losing my job.

Before I left the company, Hohman and co-founder Tim Besse had a little “game” to see who could make me quit first. One of them hired professional thugs and put hits out on my wife and children. We all lived in constant fear. My son, Ben, wet the bed every time the phone rang at night.

Glassdoor is a company staffed by depraved and twisted people who will make your life a living hell.

— A fake employee review of Glassdoor

Glassdoor won’t remove fake reviews. Consider me naïve, but I didn’t know this.

You can produce business records that show no one with the reviewer’s job title and tenure ever worked there. You can try to persuade them that the review contains no references to people or teams or clients, or any other specifics, and that this vagueness would strongly suggest the review is fake. But whatever you do, you will not succeed in reasoning with these people, because their so-called moderation team is a monkey with a mouse in its hand repeatedly clicking “post.”

Now, it’s one thing if you own a restaurant, and you get a bad review on Yelp. Even a very unpopular restaurant serves a couple dozen people a day, so any given negative customer review will sink to the bottom of the pile soon enough. But if you own or work for a small business, a review on Glassdoor can linger for a very long time.

The company I work for has its share of positive and negative employee reviews. I’m a curious person, so I read them. Sometimes I have a pretty good idea who the author is. I’ve never questioned the authenticity of a review before, because they seemed genuine. They mentioned real people or real projects. They said nice things that were true, or they made criticisms that felt familiar.

The most recent review lacks all of these things, and its author lists a job title and tenure that don’t match anyone who has ever worked there.

But Glassdoor doesn’t care whether the reviews they publish are real or not. They told me so themselves in an email (not that their actions would indicate otherwise). Which begs the question: Why does Glassdoor have such an ambivalent relationship with the truth? How is this ethical?

Ironically, the only effective means of recourse is sabotage: Write (more) fake company reviews. If Glassdoor becomes so riddled with misinformation and plain lies, the site will succumb to its own self-inflicted wounds. A site more concerned with serving 3¢ worth of ads than maintaining even the thinest veneer of truthfulness doesn’t deserve a better fate.

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